A slightly cheeky calculator that estimates how long your body might keep cooperating,
based on your recent lifestyle habits — not destiny, not diagnosis, just a rough nudge.
About this calculator
This is based on your average habits over roughly the last 6 months.
It leans heavily on lifestyle: movement, sleep, booze, smoking, stress, food quality, and how much time you spend sat on your arse.
What it gives you
Healthspan score: a simple 0–100 style score for how body-friendly your habits look.
Expected healthy until: a playful estimate of how long you might stay reasonably functional.
Start of decline: when the wheels may begin to wobble a bit.
Verdict: because calculators are more fun when they judge you slightly.
Your lifestyle
Overall score
Enter your lifestyle details to calculate.
Notes
Guidance and gentle judgement appear here.
Your reading
Healthspan score
A rough lifestyle score. Higher is generally better.
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Needs workDecentThriving
Expected healthy until
A tongue-in-cheek estimate of how long your body stays mostly cooperative.
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Expected “start of decline”
When the maintenance bill may begin arriving a bit more aggressively.
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What is helping / hurting?
Helping your cause
We’ll show the positives here.
Probably not helping
We’ll show the negatives here.
This is not medical advice, prophecy, or a scientifically validated death clock.
It is a lifestyle-based nudge disguised as a mildly judgemental toy.
